Review: Jurassic World Rebirth

I was lucky enough for Jurassic World Rebirth to be the selection of a Mystery Movie showing at my theatre of choice, and ever since, I've gone back and forth on this movie.  Not in its general ranking (I'd put it on par with Jurassic World - a ranking of all movies will be at the end of this review), but as to whether or not I think this movie is a needed step in the correct direction of the franchise.  To wit...

 

On the plus side:

This movie did a good job of bringing a sense of wonder to seeing the dinosaurs.  In particular, a scene with Titanosauruses works incredibly well due to Jonathan Bailey's Dr. Henry Loomis experiencing genuine joy at seeing and interacting with the creatures.  While other movies in the franchise have tried to mimic that first scene of Dr. Grant seeing the Brachiosaurus from the original Jurassic Park, this is the first time since then that the actor's performance really hit that same level.

 

On the down side:
This movie continues the franchise trope of forcing a child into the story to give an artificial stakes. If there are enough likeable characters, we don't need a child to worry about! The stakes are still there!  In the case of this movie, we end up having very strong emotional reactions to the deaths of the various crew members of Zora and Duncan (Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali) without any of the development associated with such a reaction.  I don't know if the filmmakers were afraid of killing anyone the audience would like, but as it stands, the movie makes it clear that most of these people are red shirts.

 

On the plus side:

Director Gareth Edwards does a great job with the action scenes.  The mosasaurus sequence does a great job of capturing what would likely be a chaotic interaction with such an animal on a smaller boat.  Even better, Edwards gives the audience a good layout of the ship so that when the Spinosauruses get involved, the audience can keep track of where the various characters are as they try to survive the suddenly-more-dangerous encounter.

On the down side:

The script-writing needed some more work.  First off, the film posits that the world at large is 'over' dinosaurs - so much so that museums about them are shutting down because no one goes.  And I'm sorry, but sharks have been around even longer than dinosaurs and people are still fascinated by them to the point there is an entire industry around interacting with them.  You expect me to believe that 25ish years after they were revealed to the world at large, people are done with them?

The script suffers from the noted lack of character-building for the emotional reactions of the main characters, as noted, but also inconsistency from the characters that do get developed; most notably some quips that don't really fit the character that delivers them.

 

On the plus side:

Scarlett Johansson continues to prove that she is a great action heroine.  She gives the movie just the right amount of seriousness and goofiness that it needs to work, while believably coming across as a mercenary for hire.  None of the cast are terrible (though some are unnecessary), but Johansson is the standout performance of a fairly talented group.

 

On the down side:
The editing of this movie - outside of the action sequences - makes me think that quite a bit of the movie was cut for time.  Weird payoffs and character interactions occur throughout and it feels like something is missing that would bring it together better.  The movie as it is takes over 2 hours to finish, and perhaps some better editing might've helped it feel more cohesive.

 

On the plus side:
Manuel Garcia-Rulfo's character might be completely unnecessary to the film, but at least they had the good sense to put him in some short-shorts for the majority of it.

 

Overall, I'd give the movie a 7 out of 10, though it could swing to a 7.5 or 6.5 depending on the day.

 

Jurassic Franchise Rankings:
Jurassic Park
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
(big drop)
Jurassic World Rebirth
Jurassic World
(big drop)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
(even bigger drop)
Jurassic Park 3
Jurassic World Dominion

2025 Movie List

The Movies:

28 Years Later
Clown in a Cornfield
Death of a Unicorn

Jurassic World Rebirth

Sinners

Review: The Haunting (1999)

Sometimes, when you are not sure about a movie, it helps to break it down into Pros and Cons.  Maybe throw in a few either way/maybes for parts of the movie you are unsure about.  Let's try that exercise with this movie.

PROS:

1. Lili Taylor is working overtime in this movie to make it watchable.  Not sure how many mainstream movies she had been a lead in before this, but she tears into this one with gusto - like she might not get another chance.
2. It emulates better movies in such a way that it doesn't feel too derivative: there are allusions to the breathing doors of the original (and superior) 1963 film, amongst others.
3. Catherine Zeta-Jones is a perfect choice for Theo - almost moreso than Lili Taylor as Eleanor
4. Changing it from a study of the paranormal to a study of fear is an interesting concept, even if I don't think they bettered the original premise.

CONS:

1. Owen Wilson is not quite sure what type of movie he is in.
2. The CGI is bad even by the standards of 1999, which is saying something
3. More of an addition to the above, but they use way too much CGI
4. Plotwise, they have Theo experience some of the paranormal activity, but still have her act like Eleanor is crazy for talking about her own (admittedly more intense) experiences.  Could've been a much more interesting dynamic than everyone thinking Eleanor is having a breakdown

MAYBES?:

1. Liam Neeson very obviously does not give a fuck - he doesn't even pretend to see anything when the CGI is 'present'.  However, watching him completely and totally not care onscreen does give me some personal amusement
2. I like the shifting-when-not-looking-at-them faces of the children, up until the movie decides to show them shifting with bad CGI
3. Like the book and the previous movie, I am enraged by Eleanor's sister and husband in an early scene, so well played there.  Also, hello Virginia Madsen!  Not sure why you did that small part, but you did it well!
4. Changing it so that Eleanor is related to Hugh Crain is... a choice.

Hmm, that doesn't really help since all of them have the same number.  I find it watchable at least, so I guess it gets a passing score.

6.5 out of 10

Review: The Babysitter (2017)

I'm not sure why I never got around to watching this film when I have Netflix and love horror movies.  Laziness maybe?  It's right up my alley - comedic and violent and it has a killer performance from Samara Weaving as the titular babysitter.

Not that it isn't without faults.  While he does a good job as Cole, Judah Lewis is saddled with some stupid characterization as a kid who is scared of everything.  I'm sure there are people like that in real life, but in this film it very much reads as a Movie Character With an Arc type of screenplay writing - and not a particularly engaging version of it.  It's really annoying, because otherwise this is a breezy and witty screenplay.

To give a brief summary, Cole (Lewis) is 12 years old and scared of everything.  His parents go out of town and leave him in the care of his babysitter, Bee (Weaving).  He stays up to see what she does after he goes to bed, and it just happens to be the night that Bee and her friends - who are in a cult - decide to sacrifice someone and steal Cole's blood in an evil ritual meant to give them their wildest dreams and wishes.

Fairly boilerplate as far as horror goes, though the movie does have a few twists and turns to keep the formula fresh.  Cole is forced to defend himself, and the various cult members die as he tries to get to safety.  Their deaths are fairly inventive, and a few - while not anything new to the genre - still manage to surprise in the way that they happen.

But really, this movie is all about Samara Weaving's performance.  She oozes charisma on the screen - necessary to justify her as both the crush object for Cole and the leader of a cult - and she effortlessly switches from cool to sexy to scary with ease throughout the film.  I don't know that she is a villain you root for, but she is definitely a villain that is fun to watch.

If I were to compare this film to anything, it would be All Cheerleaders Die, another horror film with a twisted sense of humor.  Definitely worth a watch - it's a shame it took me this long to get to it.

8 out of 10

Review: The Conjuring (2013)

It's kind of crazy that this movie spawned a legitimate horror universe.  It's also easy, 7 films after the original, to forget just how solid and scary this movie is.  Famously, it was given an R rating despite no real violence, nudity, or swearing - the sheer scariness of the film earned it that rating.

How does it hold up, all these years later?  Pretty well!  Wan has proven himself to be an excellent director when it comes to tense sequences, and it is on full display here.  Whether cutting back and forth between a music box mirror and the person looking into it, or just having terrified characters stare into an impossibly dark corner, Wan is an expert at making the viewer hold their breath throughout the movie.

It is also boosted by strong performances from all of the actors.  Vera Farmiga is best in show, and Patrick Wilson has since deservedly become a Scream King.  Lili Taylor is also strong, and this is a much better haunted house movie than her previous try, 1999's The Haunting.  Really, I cannot single out any performance is lacking: the entire cast is natural and believable in an unbelievable situation.

There's something to be said for a simple, scary film.  It doesn't overcomplicate the plot, it properly and effective escalates the situation, the tone is consistent - I really can't find fault for the film anywhere.  Granted, the real-life Warrens were likely frauds and the movie plays fast and loose with certain historical events, but it's far from the most egregious 'based on a true story' film to use that tagline.

Would I recommend this?  Yes, easily.  I haven't seen most of the sequels, so cannot comment on the franchise as a whole, but this is a great start to it.  Even if it doesn't, in my opinion, make any of the All Time Greatest lists, it is strong enough to merit consideration for a couple.

8.5 out of 10

Review: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Sometimes, watching a horror movie (or a horror adjacent one, such as Rocky Horror) is all about the communal experience at the theater.  I'll never forget the collective gasp at a certain scene in The Witch involving a bird, or the tension throughout the theater during the opening scenes of A Quiet Place - on occasion, being with others elevates the moviegoing experience in ways that watching at home just cannot compare to.

Which is why, for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a friend and I went to a live shadow-cast performance in San Antonio for the experience.  As an added bonus, Patricia Quinn - who plays Magenta in the film - was also there and talked a bit about the making of the film.  And this, really, is what watching this movie is about - costumes everywhere, toast thrown into the air, shouts of 'Asshole!' and 'Slut!' scattered through the viewing.  If you are watching this quietly at home, you are missing out on what made this movie an essential watch every October for its many fans.

Indeed, part of the joy even for those that have been to multiple shadow-casts is seeing how different people partake in the movie.  From grand introductions of 'Alfalfa's shadow' to inserted words into the lyrics of the various musical numbers - it's rare that longtime fans don't get to experience something new every time.

This also makes the movie critic-proof.  I'm not really even trying to discuss the value of the sets, or the performances, or even the songs in any critical sense because none of it matters when discussing this movie.  You either get it, or you don't.  The most I would say is that without Tim Curry, I don't think the cult status of this movie would have ever reached the heights it has today.

Which is why I recommend that anyone watching this for the first time, do so with friends.  I can understand not going to a shadow-cast, but any theatrical experience of it would be suggested.  And make sure that at least one of those watching with you has experienced this movie before, to help along with the rituals and the fun.

8 out of 10, factoring in the audience.

Now let's do the Time Warp again!

Review: Friday the 13th (1980)

There's a lot to be said about this movie - it's not the grandaddy of slasher films (I'd give the 'grandparent' titles to 1978's Halloween and 1974's Black Christmas), but in many ways it is the father of modern slashers, with its penchant for sequels and high body counts, not to mention the (for 1980) extreme gore used to shock the audience.  While many have come after - some better, some worse - nothing quite like this movie existed before 1980 in American cinemas, and its success changes the landscape of horror.

Do I even need to summarize this film?  Everyone knows the basics: at a summer camp shortly before the campers arrive, the counselors are stalked and killed by a mysterious figure.  Some people forget it was Mrs. Vorhees (Betsy Palmer) who was the killer in this film instead of the more famous Jason, but otherwise the story for many of these films plays out the same.

I think sometimes modern looks at this film come down a little too hard on it - it is frequently called boring in the first half, with some even questioning how it was 'shocking' with such tame kills.  And while they are not wrong in the first point - not completely - the second point conveniently forgets that these sorts of effects (done by the legendary Tom Savini) were shocking - nothing so explicit was given a wide release in US theatres before.

The problem is, by the time this is being watched and evaluated, most reviewers have already seen movies that improved on the formula that this movie set.  Yes, the whoddunnit aspect is undercooked, but that's mainly because we've seen it perfected with the Scream movies.  The movie is slow and spends time getting you familiar with both the counselors and the layout of the campground, when later movies realized that people were mostly there for the kills and sped along that process to get to what the audience wanted.

I'm not saying the film cannot be criticized, but remember it's place!  I don't think it is one of the great films of horror by any stretch - the best in this series, Part 4, probably wouldn't even crack my personal top 20 - but it's a movie to be watched to appreciate where the genre started.  It's akin to watching a retired Hall of Fame pitcher come out and throw the first pitch of a game: It might not have the heat it used to, but respect should be given for what it accomplished.

How to rate this movie?  In all fairness, it probably is a 6 at best.  But given it due respect, I think 7 is a perfectly respectable rating.  So that is where I will set it.

7 out of 10