Who I'd Save: Resident Evil

When I decided to make Resident Evil the next series for Who I'd Save, I had only ever given a repeat watch to the original movie.  I had seen Apocalypse, Afterlife, and Final Chapter before, but not since their original theatrical releases.  So I thought it would be fun to rewatch all of those, plus finally see the two I had missed (Extinction and Retribution).

What I was not prepared for was how convoluted the storyline was (exacerbated, I'm sure, by watching all of them on consecutive days) and how creatively they bring back cast members who had previously died.  Sometimes without explanation.  So this might get a follow-up post where I talk about all of the movies and what did and did not work, and I am going to go ahead and say that no clones will make this list.

Resident Evil: Ms. Black

We'll start off with a more novel choice: Opening scene character Ms. Black (changed to Ella Fontaine in the novelization).  She seems smart and no-nonsense, and actress Indra Ové spins gold from the little she is given - This is a character that, if they had decided to spend more on them, it wouldn't have bothered me.  Alas, she doesn't survive past the cold open, but I'd find a way to get her out of The Hive if I could.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse: Nicholai

It was between Nicholai and Terri for this honor, but Nicholai won out due to being played by Farkus himself, Zack Ward.  Nicholai is more than willing to team up with other survivors and even ends up dying trying to protect Angela.  Plus, surviving the apocalyptic wasteland in Extinction would have been much easier with another trained soldier.

Resident Evil: Extinction: Carlos

I mean, who else could it be?  The closest thing to a love interest that Alice gets throughout the series, plus it's Oded Fehr, who I will always have a soft spot for due to The Mummy.  It's such a bummer that he is able to get the antidote in Apocalypse, only to be bitten by fucking LJ (Mike Epps) - who decided to hide the fact he was infected - a movie later.  At least he goes out in a blaze of glory.

Resident Evil: Afterlife: Crystal

I think a major reason I would save Crystal before any of the others in this movie is because her death feels like such bullshit.  Granted, not everyone can go out in a blaze of glory, but give her a better one!  So she gets saved for that reason.

Resident Evil: Retribution: Luther

I really liked this character, and actor Boris Kodjoe also.  And he gets so close to escaping at the end of this one, but then Evil Clone Rain (Michelle Rodriguez) has to fuck it all up.  And really, he was sacrificed because they didn't want to kill Leon (Johann Urb) since he is important in the games - but guys, he is only in this movie, you can kill him and keep Luther!  Granted, the start of the next film makes you wonder about all of the survivors of this one, but I can easily head-canon their survival.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter: Cobalt

Honestly, none of the new characters really made much of an impression in this one.  Before deciding on Cobalt (who proves to be fairly brave and a bit badass), I considered the emaciated woman (Siobhan Hodgson) that gets killed just before being rescued by Alice or Abigail (Ruby Rose).  I even considered Doc (Eoin Macken) just for the shits and giggles of it.  But, in a movie filled to the brim with red shirts, I decided to go with the one that would be the most interesting to get more of.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City: Lisa

I am making an assumption with this one - we get no visual confirmation of her death, but with all of Raccoon City being destroyed, it feels like a safe one.  Mostly, this poor woman is who I'd save because of the hell she's been through, while still saving Claire and Leon. 

Alright, that covers this film series - next up will be the Scream franchise, maybe - what should I do after that?

Review: Gwendy's Button Box

Reading Stephen King's collaborations with other authors always makes for an interesting review.  Mostly because I am familiar enough with King's style at this point - 40+ books into his bibliography - that I can generally figure out which parts have his fingerprints all over them.  It's not so much that I attribute everything good to him and all of the weaker aspects to whomever joined him: King has his own criticisms and even a few novels that I'd consider outright bad.  It's just that his writing is so identifiable that when it obvious that it is the contributing author that is writing, it is easier to assign them blame.  In the case of Gwendy's Button Box, Richard Chizmar managed to mimic enough of King's style that the novella flows almost seamlessly.

No, if I have any criticisms of this story, it is that it very much feels like Part One in a series (which it is) and that it neither author ever really lets the narrative breathe.  From the moment that Gwendy gets the titular box until the ending, the story moves at a breakneck pace.  King's strength has always been how he can make his locations and characters feel lived-in and lively, but this novella has none of that.

It is still a good yarn, make no mistake.  It's just one that is maybe a little shorter than one would want from it.  There is something to be said for a tight, simple story, but there's too much unanswered in this one - though maybe that will be fixed in Part Two (written only by Chizmar).

To get to the actual story:  Gwendy meets the mysterious Richard Farris as a young girl, who gives her a button box - one button gives her some candy with magical properties, one button gives her a rare silver coin, and eight other buttons how an unnamed power to them.  After Farris gives her the box, Gwendy learns the burden of having such an item in her care, but also goes through the crucible of earning the gift given to her.  Without going into further detail: the box has a weighty responsibility to it, and Gwendy was chosen by higher powers to shoulder said responsibility.

Far too interesting a premise for a measly 166 page book that covers 16ish years of Gwendy's life.  But again, there is a Part Two already out and a Part Three about to be - maybe they will answer my questions and fill out the story in such a way that the overall tale will be satisfying.

3 out of 5, with the option to raise it after reading the other books.

Stats:

Pages: 166

Movie?: None currently planned

Dark Tower?: Roland Farris links it to the Dark Tower pretty unambiguously

Child Deaths?: A friend of Gwendy's dies during her high school years, plus references are made to the Jonestown massacre and the many children that died there.

Book of the Month: January 2019

Offered Books:

The Night Tiger by Yangsze Choo

Golden State by Ben H. Winters

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Maid by Stephanie Land

Golden Child by Claire Adam

Selected:

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Other Purchased:

None - yet

I am in the minority opinion on this book.  It has the distinction (along with the previously reviewed Future Home of the Living God, The Perfect Mother, and The Chalk Man) of being one of the rare books to get the 'dislike' option when rating it at the Book of the Month website.  Contrast this with it making the finalist list for Book of the Year at the same site - in fact, as of the typing of this review only 3% of members who have voted have given it the dreaded 'dislike.'  Why does my opinion differ from so many others?  The ending, my dear friends, the ending.

I'm not going to lie: this book had me going.  I tore through it eagerly wanting to see how it resolved itself.  Any mild qualms I came across were pushed aside as I powered through to see what happened on the fateful night where Alicia Berenson murdered her husband.  Then, in the last 20 or so pages, it all fell apart.  The reveal was so convoluted, so stupid, that it made me angry that I had read the book with such passion.  In fact, so angered was I by the ending of the book, that looking back at the minor qualms I had made me feel like I had ignored numerous red flags placed throughout the novel.  The story itself had tried to warn me of the imminent disappointment... and I ignored it.

To expand on my brief summary above, Alicia Berenson has murdered her husband - both of them fairly famous - and then refused to say anything about what had transpired that evening that had caused her to shoot him multiple times.  Five years have passed, Alicia has been committed, and Theo Faber - a criminal psychotherapist - works for the opportunity to examine the famous mystery.

It is here where the first of the major red flags appears: Alicia starts talking to Theo fairly quickly.  This isn't much of a spoiler (there would not be much of a novel without this development), but no one really comments on his quick success.  There's a few passing mentions of his ability to get her to open up, but for a well-known woman who famously refused to speak for five years.  It feels like, at the very least, the other doctors should have reacted.  Someone needed to remark on it, and the fact that no one really does destroys the world-building done up to this point.

I can't much into details of the other parts that should have served as a warning to me - far too plot relevant to reveal - but they are very much in the same vein as the above one: Why hasn't anyone else comment on [x]?  Why did no one think to [y]?  All of them could be addressed fairly quickly and without a bunch of text but they just aren't.

And it pains me, because so much of the novel is so good - Theo and Alicia are interesting characters and the pace of the book is well done.  The tone is well-managed without ever being too much.  Really, if the ending had so completely and utterly disappointed me, it might have been one of my favorites of the year.

But again, I am in the minority on this opinion.  This book is widely beloved by those that read it: I cannot give it a recommend, but with the caveat that most people definitely would.

1.5 out of 5 - maybe a 2 out of 5 depending on my mood.

Author Links:

Alex Michaelides